On the outside looking in

I'm the third child of four. Two years between my eldest sisters. Two years between my second sister and me. Fifteen months between me and my younger sister.

As a very young child I always wanted people to associate me with my eldest two sisters. They were the 'bees-knees', the ones whose every exploit was to be aspired to.

As we grew however, very often we became known as 'the big two' and 'the little two' and I fear that on too many occasions I was horrible to my younger sister in my resentment.

She & I did sometimes play happily, often with activities which were imitations of the ones I'd seen my older sisters playing the year before (or was it the month before - time is so different for children).

I especially remember one year, begging my mum's old tights and stuffing them, drawing or sewing horses' faces and ears on them and riding them like hobby horses up & down the drive as 'the big two' had done.

The odd thing was that despite copying as well as I could, I still didn't get the point of the game. After  all that making and planning, when it came to the finished article and the galloping up and down the drive, my main sensation was 'so?'!  I was on the outside looking in.

Later on the 'big two' and their group of friends discovered a lady who lived on a smallholding down the lane. While searching for a friend's missing cat we found someone else's missing tortoise, would you believe? They started to visit the goats, ducks, hens, dogs & cats kept by this lady (not forgetting the geese who had to be sung to, apparently). They began to call themselves 'the Mack Club', this being the lady's name.

But of course, while they could go on these visits independently, my little sister & I were 'too little' (whether this was my older sisters' view or my Mum's I don't know'). Once again, I was the envious outsider.

So the obvious link with FRED is, is that how it feels when reading is difficult? Are you always the one left out, left behind, not quite in the loop?

If you can empathise with this feeling, please consider sending a cheque made out to Forest Read Easy Deal to:


Frank Rainer, Treasurer, Oaklands, George Road, Yorkley, Lydney, Gloucestershire, GL15 4TL

There is at least one thing I copied from my sisters that I did 'get', that stuck, and that I became fully involved in. Under five, I sneaked into my eldest sister's hallowed room, climbed up onto the bed (& it was a climb at that age!) to look at all the things on her bookcase. She must have been at school.

And then and there, I quite clearly and definitely made a decision: 'When I'm big, I'm going to read Enid Blyton'!